God Confronts My Posture

When I asked God to show me myself, I didn’t expect the first thing He would point to be pride.

Not the kind that announces itself.
Not the loud, obvious version.

The quiet kind.

The kind that smiles and nods but doesn’t really listen.
The kind that hears instruction and immediately starts explaining itself.
The kind that says, I’ve got it, when what it really means is, I don’t want to surrender this.

God didn’t accuse me.
He simply held up a mirror.

I began to notice how resistant I was to direction. How easily correction felt like offense. How quickly my heart would tighten when I felt misunderstood or challenged. I saw how independence had slowly turned into insulation. I wasn’t unteachable, but I wasn’t fully yielded either.

And that was humbling.

Scripture says, “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18). I used to read that as a warning for someone else. But God showed me that pride doesn’t always push you off a cliff. Sometimes it just keeps you from going deeper.

Another verse surfaced quietly in my spirit: “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6). That word resists stayed with me. Not punishes. Not abandons. Resists.

I realized something in that moment. Some of the resistance I felt in my spiritual life wasn’t coming from the enemy. It was coming from my own posture. Grace was available, but humility was required to receive it.

Pride, for me, wasn’t arrogance.
It was self-protection.
It was fear disguised as certainty.
It was control wearing the clothes of confidence.

And once I saw it, I couldn’t unsee it.

But God didn’t leave me there.

He wasn’t asking me to shame myself. He was inviting me to soften. To let instruction feel like safety instead of threat. To trust that surrender wouldn’t erase me, it would refine me.

This is why we’re staying here.

Week One isn’t about fixing pride.
It’s about recognizing it.

Because you can’t cleanse what you won’t acknowledge.

I’m learning that humility isn’t thinking less of myself. It’s thinking less about defending myself. It’s letting God lead without needing to explain why I’m worthy of being led.

This is where my process began.

Not with answers.
Not with confidence.
But with a willingness to be shown.

And that, I’m realizing, is grace at work.